Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
