i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize