508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
