so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
