well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
where does the pee come out of this thing
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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