So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
