I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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