Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
