do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
