So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
