Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
