omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
