Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I think my vagina is haunted
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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