I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
