So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
