There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Floor bacon is actually really good
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
