Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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