well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
