Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
