she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
