what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I wish there were birth control emojis
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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