We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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