It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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