Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
