if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Randomize
