We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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