I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
