and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
