Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
