If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
