Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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