Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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