How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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