scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
