lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
