let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize