This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
