Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
