I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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