Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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