he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
