I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
