Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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