its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize