It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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