i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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