I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
