fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
