This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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