Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
