How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
