I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
