I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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