There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
