Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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