so explain again why im purple
no
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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