You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
