pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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