I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
