are you still at the devil's house?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize