Whod you bang
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
is it fun? or sober?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
